Disclaimer not for the tender of hearted now we get into the depth of the book
Crazy enough to love - snippet -
Crazy enough to love - snippet -
Anyway, my story? Um... the short and long of it is that I have had a great life on the outside the mask the fig leaves as you say. Great parents I told myself, great brother most of the time, good family you can’t see the picture when you’re inside the frame. We've never been really poor or anything - not rich either, but not poor. My family was very open so I told myself, very supportive and very loving and that was the deepest lie. But now I'm starting to realize that to a certain extent, that was all just surface the iceberg and titanic, it’s what I told myself to feel better what did you call it again? “the narrative”, when you tell the doctor your arms broken when it’s really your foot, behind the scenes, I was a broken little girl who was deeply wounded by her parents. My brother has serious rejection and confidence issues which were never addressed. My parents have always had a rocky marriage, but they pretend everything is ok, maybe that where I learnt it?
But my story - well, I don’t know. Not much to tell. I had a great childhood - I was a shy little girl and I wore beautiful clothes cos my mom owned a cool clothes store for little girls. (ha ha - good memories!) I was sexually abused for 2 years by the Gardner somewhere between 6 and 9 (I don't remember it cos I blocked it all out). I told my mom about it when I finally got the courage, but she didn't do anything. Literally, nothing. She didn't even talk to me about it. So, from the age of 8 or 9, I had to deal with that on my own. Subsequently I hated my mom and resented her and blamed her for everything and that completely ruined our relationship. I became a strong, independent, don't need anyone sort of girl because I had been so disappointed by my parents and men . I found myself in relationship after relationship from the age of 12 onwards. Yet still, I was scarred sexually, so I couldn't do much i wanted a knight but I didn’t like to be touched i wanted a man but i hated men.
