Nothern Star Meet the ... Wife 1 Cece
"we loved each other before we fell in love with each other, like roots and earth, like air and lungs, like touch and feel, that's how we got connected and still are connected its our nature... to be "
In-to- me -see = intimacy...
Have you ever being so connected to another human being you can’t tell where they start and you end , you can't tell who's the brush who's canvas... is this love or is it art , the got me stupid smart type love? but you know that's a heaven inspired craft , the two are “one” but the “one” are aware they two but have always being “one” ( make sense of it latter like i said crazy and we some how were the method to madness ), even a mother and her child in the womb were not as connected as we were and that’s no exaggeration , In all honesty it’s rare that a person gets the gift of falling in love 4 times with the same person without the drama of breaks ups and make ups , just going deeper and deeper every time the kind of love that evolves when it ready and has not found a limit to the heavens, human yet devine yet and in honesty doesn’t want to (find a limit that is) ... 4 times i fell in love with her without falling out .
The first time was that classic cliche magical moment which would be the first time we met, I call that moment the black out, and not because i blacked out (laughing). The Silver back (me) met the Black panther (her) brute force blended with humility me regal grace with killer instinct, again it was a mystery to me how two such different species connected as one ..."i think i just saw my future wife" rolled of my tongue subconsciously . The only thing we really knew in our innocence was that in each others presence we were a powerful entity, One of us was a planet and the other one gravity caution thrown to wide in naivety we would fall in love, " Does my ass look fat in these jeans" how does something so spiritual come a from this don't ask me ask God.
The second time we loved as no others was our friendship, we cleaved like eagles take flight and fish born in water .... nature, Pure, No fig leaves naked souls unashamed for two Africans strange no inhibitions but only friends , no place felt more comfortable than my head on her lap and her body in my arms and her head on my yet some how we stayed platonic, subconscious fear maybe a of ruining a good thing , I protected her femininity, restored it bandaged and nursed sometimes ,as she protected and fed my masculinity in society happy to confuse and destroy both ... laughter lots and lots of laughter in a world where many people are lonely even when in relationships, she saw through me to me to feel me, I saw through the crowds and masks to her breathed her to feel her friends .
The Third time was the romance "why can't i find some like you ?" transparent and solid at the same time , two ghosts dancing we were what we were, one minute we are dancing to Rockwilder She was Redman and Meth, same entities slow dance the Tango by moonlight , one a Star light "Orion" and the other a Cloud an element of nature only answerable to God Storm"… Tupac once wrote to Jada “you bring me climax without sex” , I would like to think I felt and knew what he meant in truth words don't capture "it", and strangely enough as a man for the first time in my life, i was comfortable being complete vulnerable with another being , to be present in the moment but gone , lost but found … and my ears become a dairy for her deepest secrets, hurts , fears hopes and dreams ... i showed her my pyscho and vice versa and we comfortable but never complacent about each other..she was crazy and i was well me ,some how I loved her even for it...
The fourth time was as Clasicc as the first unplanned, unscripted theater i think it caught both by surprise (and ... no we are not pregnant that will be the fifth time i fall in love her deeper). I would like to say it was the first kiss , or the first time we mad...or made love (laughing) but no. It was that moment I had convinced my self didn't exsist at all (dropping to a knee pebble in hand ) " do me the honor and marry me... last name and all, until death do us part and then some ? ". For a man to say "yes" and let alone a woman to ask with no fear, no inhibition and a sense of anticipation in retrospect was snow flake rare one kind, My Mama used tell me " when you know, that you know , you will know ( do tha math latter) ... that crazy moment when you realize you will spend a life time with this person, and one or other would down to rest and face that moment on both sides with no fear ... that moment right was a heaven ... and very drunk (laughing)
[...Flash ]
Cece…“Cloud, when you love someone you let them go… If they come back to you then they are yours , If he doesn't then get a double barrel shot gun and shoot the bitch sucking his dick cooking his food making him all happy and shit and get your man back … and give him one firm warning … look at what you made me do, don’t do it again you heard ? ”
… me nodding while swallowing hard “really is all that necessary what happened to diplomacy ? ” nodding confidently “ yeah ... really, that is me being diplomatic, you got to check these ragged bitches out here and send a clear message (wrapping her hands around my neck) and keep your ass in line , Good men are in short supply... clear message he's mine hands off, you do that lets another one the heffa's try something... or i can cut your dick off and take whats mine back you got options ... oh yeah and lots of makeup sex , maybe I will be the one to leave you with a smile and walking funny when i do that thing that like all night long ... if you make it, do i cut it off or shoot her ?”. "Really you play to much ?". shaking her head "broken hearts don't play"
… me nodding while swallowing hard “really is all that necessary what happened to diplomacy ? ” nodding confidently “ yeah ... really, that is me being diplomatic, you got to check these ragged bitches out here and send a clear message (wrapping her hands around my neck) and keep your ass in line , Good men are in short supply... clear message he's mine hands off, you do that lets another one the heffa's try something... or i can cut your dick off and take whats mine back you got options ... oh yeah and lots of makeup sex , maybe I will be the one to leave you with a smile and walking funny when i do that thing that like all night long ... if you make it, do i cut it off or shoot her ?”. "Really you play to much ?". shaking her head "broken hearts don't play"
[Funny enough it is her I loved the purest of all the wives in the Dimensions , she is the Northern star the eternal love , if I was a Scarecrow she would be that one iconic Rose, (studio)
" you got the eyes of Panther, the grace of a Tigress ,power , pride a the presence of lioness.
Hearts soul body wisdom and embody Finesse"
[Flash ...]
Hearts soul body wisdom and embody Finesse"
[Flash ...]
“ Miss me ?” “always” “how much?” “Eternally like the Norther star Dede (pet name)”
... My First my real wife is Cece ... Chiso (her face) every day that I wake up next to her it feels like prayer in every way was answered ( and this would be a problem latter on), She always reminds me how real Mr God is with out trying , from the first time I met her until now, I have never taken her for granted the rose with few petals scared stem a slanted the essence of beauty. Without thinking I would give up my life for hers... connected is an understatement of what are, more like custom designed to be together the definition of one flesh and one bone looking good Like mustang sitting on rims. One of Mr God’s realist gifts , mysteries ,and I mean mysteries and treasures here on earth entrusted in my care this life time ...
Any relationship that starts with “Does my ass look fat in these jeans? ” is always going to be a tumultuous one , never a boring a moment , and strange enough we never fought not even once , i never said that we never disagreed-ed, one or the was quick to compromise between us was no pride just this weird understanding, once in while we faked it fighting that is but ended in heap wresting and laughing , but i assure you the make up sex was real crazy we were indeed, and we never felt a sense of lonely like we witnessed all around us as walked through the days and time together. If I had not met her in this life time I definitely would of felt the lacking , as in my journey on earth would of being incomplete lack luster, don't get me wrong she didn't complete me just the journey if i was U she was S "us", If she was the W i was the E "we" The I and eye.
When I fell in love with her I knew she said crazy stuff and to be honest maybe that was part of the attraction , never a boring moment like most people in relationships who fall into routine and sooner or later fall into a unique form of lonely, lonely , it wasn't so much that she said crazy stuff it was the timing of the crazy stuff she said.
I was about to get my first taste to consecrate our relationship, dick hard as titanium condom on, dam it ... I am the Black Moses she had already bust a nut hard hat area a mans about to go to work and get mine Captain warp 9... and just before engage , that’s when her hands crept to the back of my neck and pulled my corn rows back to get my eye contact… kinky I guess but I knew she was freak ...was it going to be one of those talk about when your old moments … yes but not like you think …
“Cloud Walker I want you own this pussy Dede ( pet name) break my back in the places eat it up and beat it up, but if you ever cheat on me after this , I will cut your dick and balls off and put them in jar to remind me to never fall in love again ... now get this pussy black Moses”…
Now the women are thinking to themselves, what’s wrong with that, and the men just cringed and said “she said what and you still hit it ?”… Confessions of a Cloud Walker , yes I hit it that cookie right there… my mans that cookie is finger licking Good , crazy enough to love my man crazy…
Funny enough it is her I loved the purest, heart body and soul no hold bars.
Flash
Cece “I don’t want to lose you to the music, to the industry, to the crowd, to the lifestyle and to the image but I will support you if this is what you really want , you have a gift and it would be a sin not share it, it’s hard enough sharing you with everybody else and the world but I guess its your dream , so whatever you need from me …just don’t let me lose you?”
Cloud “You won’t , ever pinkie swear (promise), eyes wide shut heart wide open souls kiss souls touch I and eye, Ma you are the dream they can take all this , but the us that’s sacred, I will war for you ”
“pinky swear” they laugh and bump foreheads gently (there thing)
“Wrote this hook just for you Ma”
(Singing gently ...)
At night when I write and my thoughts take flight
You steal my heart then you steal my sight
A bright starry soul in cold lonely night
I might do wrong … but we will always be right
The cog in my mechanism you make my soul work
The healing and balm when my souls hurt
Cloud “ yall be tell all your secrets to my soul so said it with out saing it… I like it , we got this like Bee and Jay just that you can’t sing ( she hits me ) but I don’t want to be in anybody else inner right thigh just yours you move like a viper Ma
Latter on in the in booth …
- Studio sessions, looking through the glass at her with smile and nodding as I step to the mic…
- “I will be the lamb for your sacrifice
- Cash money if I ever need to pay the price
- 2 On a hot summer day I will be your ice
- For your dark lonely nights I am be your light
- 3 If they disrespect you then I am fist fight
- When the world do you wrong, I will be the right
- 4 I am always thinking about our future because it looking bright
- Baby fat on the booty and she keep it tight
- 5 The fairy tales come true and be the knight
- You already use my last name because you know your wife
- 6 Talk dirty in bedroom, but we stay polite
- Always start back at one like am Brain Mc Knight
- 7 My tongue game eyes rolling and you see the light
- We take off for heavens this is the captain’s flight
- 8 Break you off proper like latter on tonight
- Dear Lord you have m loving on the woman with all my might
- 9 your gods master piece the Perfect faces with no make up
- Rich mind rich heart and soul I call you the cake up
- 10 we living in a dream world and the queen don’t wake up
- Hit you with long stroke until you can’t stay up
- 11 God bless me with the patience for you when start act up
- Class and elegance so queen but shorty is never stuck up
- 12 Try to keep it Christian, but cant help it we lay up
- We never tell each other lies from day one we being straight up”
[Flash]poetry siting on the corner of the bed together her in between my leg while I brush her hair and when I am done she leans backward into my chest, nestles her head on the side of my neck making purring sound… I know what to do it was our thing. “You ready C ? ” …” “Constantly like the Northern star”...
Both of us with no makeup...be vulnerable
Do you know why I like to stare at you and marvel when you don’t have makeup on, yeah you’re beautiful and fly all kinds of awesomeness happening there to (rolling my eyes and laughing) but it’s not that ? The makeup covers the person I wake to up to it’s hard to see Mr Gods original design there Ma, I want to know that you its sacred to me just like you don’t want me to wear the man makeup of false masculinity that would cover up the flaws in my character , the sometimes I am weak and the bruises in my soul from everyday life , they don’t make me less man to you… so why cover up what makes you more woman and human to me ?… it’s too hard to live up to these false concepts of perfection that’s for them out there not the “US” , (sarcastically) besides I married a real woman with curves and morning breathe not a mannequin (Hitting me).
That face under the makeup is the one I will see when you have a baby… (Laughing) or worse that would be terrible time to meet a stranger lol… like how you want to see my souls face when I lose some one that I love and I am supposed to lean on you. I gave you my word you would never be alone in a crowd and you said “Cloud don’t ever be emotionally unavailable when I am around”… we got this we don’t always know how or get it right but we got it… When your covered up it tells you don’t trust me with imperfect to love you anyway and then you get confused when my soul doesn’t show up … keep it simple wipe the makeup off and you can put me on… know come here and tuck yourself into my right arm…
Lamb to the Slaughter … Killing the order
He lies on top of his son’s grave in the foetal position … bile in the back of his throat, cramps in his stomach tears in his eyes, he tries to sing but is interrupted by attempts at crying, his hands shake his lips quiver he tries … [Bob Marley]
“They say kill them before they grow… so I shot the sheriff but I didn’t kill the deputy”…
I remember the first time you said it “Dad I want to be just like you” every man worth his salt in swet beats his chest when he hears it for the first time from his son“ little man wants to be just like me lol did you hear that Mr God like me …?” Until those words hit his soul and that man thinks to himself “ but you don’t know what it took to make me little man I was born in hell fire, if i told you some of things I had to endure and survive to be me… your toes would cure and your hair would turn grey and maybe your heart would turn grey just from listening, I don’t show you my true scars not to be deceptive but to avoid making you a Cynic about this manhood thing, you don’t want to be like me , you won’t be like me you will be better and you will be better but you won’t take my route”… The pain in his heart and head surge
“I am sorry Troy I promised to protect you to your mother most important to you and I failed because I believed there lies I knew the evil they are and trusted them with something as precious as your life, they say he who doesn’t not protect his children is worse than infidel sorry will not bring you back… (His stomach tightens, he almost throws up… “hearing his (Troy’s) voice in my head)…
Feeling pure hatred for the first time…
Time slowed down, it felt like I had left my body and I watched as my soul cringed slowly and painfully, it’s the strangest experience to be the third person watching like a voyeur of your own life and feeling sorry for yourself, for the first time in my life I was feeling and experiencing something totally new and I did not like it at all, no sir not one single bit. It had nothing to do with me as a human being and who I was as person, it had nothing to do with who I was in Ubuntu, it had nothing to do with the good teachings my loving parents have tried to impart into me to make me a good man. It made my inner light dim, it made my ears deafen toward the sweet whispers of the ancestors, the worst part was that it made feel distant from Mr Gods, whatever it was it truly ugly “get it off me !” “Get it out of me!”, as I watched myself struggle with it, I had never ever felt so helpless. For the first time ever in my life with my nap pulsing and my muscles shaking, they had found a way to make me feel hatred and it was toward them, as the salvia slowly dripped down my cheek from the place that it had landed. It goes quiet dead quiet and then the ground starts shaking…. Lighten flashes everywhere …
[Watching from the Ether]
“Michael how the hell do I kill that version of me ?”
“With the Assagi ”
“No I mean look at him, I’ve never seen anything like that that’s a monsta he, i am not human well barely, I don’t stand a chance in hell of stopping that thing...I and I would rip me a new asshole, what did they do to me for me to become that…?”
“They killed your only son”
“They did what …(silence) [silent whisper ] I understand he will be the most difficult one to kill… I will come after him last when I am strongest, I have never seen me like that before, I can feel what he is feeling it hurts a lot … its cold its empty”
[Flash ]The Brothers …Crazy but I love em
You know you’re in a good relationship when your single friends start to talk smack about that relationship , while I was cleaving with her which most people don’t do anymore they assumed I was leaving them. It’s nothing new
cleaving.1.to adhere closely; stick; cling (usually followed by to).2.to remain faithful (usually followed by to):
to cleave to one's principles in spite of persecution. their version split or sever (something), especially along a natural line or grain. synonyms: split, split open, crack open, lay open, divide, sever, splinter;
“You ain’t spending time with the fellas no more, Cloud spends so much time in the pussy he has Either taken a mortgage in it or paying rent I am just saying”
“ummm you need to keep my woman’s pussy out your mouth ?”
“ nah nigga we aint talking about her pussy we talking about yours” [they laugh but I am not amused]
“Hell no, you’re in my house eating my food drinking my beer filling my toilet wasting my tissues paper you better show some respect up in here before I kick all of you out, you desert dick having dry knob, right hand is bigger than my left hand, cold blanket sleeping, tumble weed in the pants, pillow hugging, lonely ass, none pussy getting mother fuckers, at least it rains in my forest … do we still want to talk about my pussy” [silence]
“you cold man artic ass cold why .. really you had to go there”
“first class paid for in cash your ordered the ticket you can dish out bitches ...get your ass out the kitchen if you can’t handle the heat”
