This book somewhere in the back of my head was the best way
to honour both my Father and Mother. My father simply for being who he was “legend”
and creating the blue print of who I would and am still becoming, there was a
romance that existed before my conception between my parents which was so
intense and abnormal for its time and era because of its honesty and i wanted
to capture it and honour that, this coming generation would be lucky to even to
taste it as I watched and listened to father call my mother “mudikanwai”
translated loved one, we(this generation) just hook up but there is very little
romance what I call the wooing and believe some women miss it, and I am not
talking about sweet words that part thighs then leave, I am talking about that
romance that lasts 30-40years that sagged grey and old, that love that see’s
you through times when you want to kill each other (laughing) that love that
doesn’t hurtful words but keeps its silence and when needed builds up. Without
words my father set the standard of how to treat a woman and the kind of woman
to look for in finding my mom, he set a lot of standards in the few years i got
to share with him from work ethic, selflessness, self-educating, emotional availability
a sense community, gentleness to mention a few, so that no matter how lost i
would get through my own decision in life, i would always have a true north to
guide me and return me to my sense’s and my role a man. Sometimes i feel like
Scarecrow is just my father being immortal through my words and not just the
blood in my veins. Having said that i salute (pay attention) the good men not
the toxic angry abusive and insecure men who stayed in the family unit and
loved their wives and children, the men who are more than providers of stuff
and pour themselves and legacy into their children (and tragically we are few).
I know for a fact that toxic fathers are worse than absent fathers and good men
and fathers are dying breed i salute you sirs for staying.
I bore first witness to the phenomenal strength of the
single mother, having being raised by a single mother it was hectic despite the
ups and downs she did the best job she could to raise a man. I had to take my
hat off to the first woman to love me unconditionally with the beauty and the
heart of rose. She did her best to raise a gentle man (laughing) and she
partially responsible for the crazy to. Seriously being raised by a single mom
i went through it and watched her carry us through it and it was no easy task,
and if society would acknowledge the tremendous amount of strength emotionally
physically and psychologically it take just to survive let alone thrive through
the process, and the level of sacrifice they give up the single mothers are the
rose in some way and a pure force of nature who deserves to be honoured. I need
to clear something up there are women who breed and there are “mothers” even in
married two parent families there are breeders. I am saluting the mother (you
know which one you are). Until i get married there is no woman above my mother,
and in a perverse world through this book i get to tell her with every flip of
a page and, i love you and your the most beautiful woman in the world ever and
you always will be and i would like to think i speak on behalf all sons who had
mothers and not breeders. My mother in my formative years was a complete book
knowledge. I was raised by women not just my mom but my aunts and my adopted
mothers and their truly are no words to say thank you for all the wisdom, love,
beauty and the ass whoop (i am African) through the years. To watch my mother
play her role of woman and that of man without losing the grace of her femininity
while dealing male bullshit and misogyny redefined beauty and strength to me.
To watch cousins sisters friends and strangers do the same makes me ask questions
of man hood, but silently in my heart a deep gratitude that such women exist or
else I would not be me. Through our interactions i have learnt the true worth
and meaning of a good woman, the heart and mind of a woman and not her look,
looks fade but that true beauty will always be inside and society has told a
great lie that many woman fall prey to, mom by your hands i believe i have it
in me to build a happy home and not just a house. I was raised by big boned
full bodied curvy loving women whom loved me and poured themselves into me
rather than the gym. Mom I love you and to the single mother I salute don’t
give up and no matter what anybody say you’re beautiful you are the rose
No comments:
Post a Comment