This weekend I got to give two talks to men about
the upcoming book series which might help transform your life or even go as far
as to save it in “strange fruit letters
to my unborn” at two different venues, one venue being my church and after the talks
the reaction of the people prompted me to share, as I mentioned before about
noticing that men (even the Christian ones) are
not in a good mental health place
across age race and creed, I feel I should share it with you ,it’s actually a
part of the book that I removed out of the book but basically seemed to stir everybody
who has read or heard it. And afterward I had some men come to talk to me about
being lonely, depression, pressure, anger, fear, wanting to leave their family children
and wife, commitment issues and some men
were even struggling/flirting with thoughts of suicide. Basically when I wrote in
the book I wanted to deal with what I call the Disconnect theory, which
basically means we have a fatherless generation and the psychological implications
of this on children, particularly men, the redefinition of masculinity and how it’s
separate us from the protective unconditional
love of god and family . Basically I shared something’s men know but very
rarely admit out of pride and women have no idea we go through and its nothing new.
1 It is very hard to be a man it doesn’t come natural
especially to the fatherless (disconnected), its hard work and most women have
no idea that men struggle with it especially in 2013 with redefinition of masculinity
and trying to figure our role in life. So much so we commit suicide, change
sexual orientation, commitment issues, leave perfectly happy homes , angry and depressed
men you see on the street , we get sick from stress and create the secret life
of us.
2 Men don’t do pain very well especially emotional and
psychological pain we say we are alright but most of time we are faking
3 Men process pain insecurity and pressure internally
so we don’t talk about it and when something goes wrong with the processing, it
goes from process to nurturing secret pain and it’s here you start to see symptoms
(peter pan syndrome alcohol drug abuse pornography excessive gaming insecurity etc)
4 If we do not process this pain we give you surface
and depth the second biggest theme in the book, we look fine but we are suffering inside and
this where you get sporadic anti-social behavior , and this makes us dangerous
to ourselves first and then to you (ladies) again symptoms will come and go
(mood swings, cheating, addictions etc )
5 ladies it is important as men to get him to talk especially
when it clears something has changed and you ask him what’s wrong and he say
nothing don’t pile the pressure just let him know the doors open, or try to get
somebody male positive and trusted to talk to him, but don’t talk around the
issues actually deal with the real issue change takes times so don’t rush, but
also remember he is nurturing pain you don’t want a seed to grow into a full
grown seed.
6 this is my personal formula for dealing with times
when I don’t know. I pray and I have learnt to strip myself of ego and find
help. Being a man is life time process and we need be aware of which season in
our life we are at. I hope it helped
Basically I have being sharing this with men and women
across race age and religion and for them so far it’s helped men deal with
feelings and past pain and just life pressure in general to here another man
talk openly about it and know that you’re not alone and we can share solutions,
and it has allowed the women who love these men to know how to approach there
men and their pain and catch the symptoms early if you really love him. I haven’t
figured the formula out but I thank god for letting me be an instrument for the
few people I have being allowed to influence.
No comments:
Post a Comment