Open
letter to the woman I will marry but I haven’t met yet.
People
say that for a relationship to work any kind of relationship friend’s lover’s even between a child and a parent communications is the most important element... I beg to differ. I
think the hardest and most important thing I need to earn from you and maybe
even give you first completely is trust, that’s my own personal belief, no
relationship can work without trust, I believe the level of trust dictates the
level of intimacy we can possibly have, I don’t mean to be deep but if I am to be
your promise to be a promise of what other men failed to be in your life the
most important thing I will have to do is earn your complete trust having said that I am not
perfect, if we have any chance at all of a “us”, I would have to be someone you
can trust with your pain, your dreams , your hope, you have to lol well you don’t
have to anything, trust me to stay during hard times when we both don’t know
the outcome, trust me with body the most intimate parts of you, not to hurt it
or bring diseases to you, to nurture you when you’re sick and to understand it
as we age wobbly bits and all, to trust me
with the promise of fidelity, trust me to be finical mature it’s not about rich
or poor simply spending wisely and unselfishly and not digging a ditch for us
to crawl out of, trust me to be a man and lead but not dictate your life and
embrace your free spirit, to be sensitive to your needs emotionally, physically
affectionately, trusting me to keep my word to love you and you alone until death
do us part in sickness and in health, I don’t fully know who I am, I am
stumbling into me and I assume you’re going through the same process so I have
to earn your trust that we can walk through the process together, to trust me
to be a good father when the times comes and to not make you feel less loved or
of a woman if we can’t have a child, you have to trust that you can open up and
give me all of who you are and that I would reply the same way and not keep you
outside my struggles even if they feel embarrassing, you have to trust that I am not the biggest waste of time on
earth whom you have poured you energy soul love life and years into only to be
left shattered and disappointed, you have to trust me to be able to say these
words “I was wrong and I am sorry” and mean it enough to change, as a man I am
going to make mistakes and hurt you unintentionally that’s just being human,
but those words are like healing balm that’s what I like to think I am just
being me. I guess you also need to trust that I trust you, life has a strange
way of going about its self and sometimes you will need to lead and I will have
to follow, trust is the only thing I know that overrides a man’s pride. You might
want to trust me not to take you for granted over the years, not to let the
romance fade away, random “I love you”, kisses and ass slaps, to be your diary
and when need be a human tissue for your tears, to trust me that 20 years from now
there will be a special moment when I look at you as if we met for the first time
and remember why I want you and why made it this far and smile at that next 20.
You have to trust me that the only time I will leave you longer than I want to
is when god calls me back home but it’s okay I will be waiting at the gate when
he calls you to.
I
could write a novel on this subject “trust” and what it means to a woman who
wants real love because trust will be the root that keeps us grounded through
the years, I just want to let you know I have not arrived yet I have a lot work
to do, but trust me I am put it in the hard work plus overtime because your
worth it your precious, we both have a trust issues from our past I can’t undo
history, but we can enjoy the present and both of us can build a brighter
future moment by moment brick by brick, I want to let you know I trust you and I
am going to drop my guard simply because your worth it and I trust god that we
are a gift to each other. I don’t expect you to feel the same way but I am man
enough to go first.
You’re
sincerely
Gerald
aka cloud walker
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