Monday, June 25, 2018

Return to the Mecca - Sub Chapter - Strange fruit " the nature of the Beast

Return to the Mecca … Sub chapter

Intro: Strange fruit the nature of the beast

Like Steve Biko , he is slowly internally bleeding to death on the floor of cold holding cell from the injuries he received after a vicious phone book beating provoked by a long and strained racially tense relationship with a certain police officers (the over seers)  which finally crossed the line, it had previously being humorous banter with empty threats up until then when he clearly out smarted them, a nonviolent battle that was started by the clash of opinions’ and war our people have being fight for centuries ever since they stole our books, the police officers racial slights and socio economic profiling versus his quick wit intelligence and un repentantly humorous emasculating tongue. His mind and spirit subconsciously travel back and forth to the Ether ( dream world) to avoid his physical pain of dying slowly, and this is  where he is confronted by “Azreil” angel of death or Grim as we called him; upon realising he is dying he makes a request knowing his last rites a Christian.

 Ta asks to send his loved ones good bye letters in the form of dreams, unfortunately Azreil cannot grant this right nor deny it so he transfers him to Saint Peter who handles such divine matter . Peter needs a justification for such a request and so Ta our victim tries to justify the request by saying “strange fruit is what brought me here,  strange fruit is what I am , strange fruit is what I would like to leave for my seeds not to follow in my footsteps? ” and so he takes us back to the start of his life in post-colonial Zimbabwe, a time of so called integration and what not which was like trump and his wig, hope as false old white peoples teeth  and the promise that never came, a time when inter racial relationships that we take for granted today were a taboo approached with caution and distrust by those outside of them while scarring those with in, it was also a time when children were seen and not heard and it’s contradiction the good bad and ugly... A time before Facebook and twitter where people just did not say whatever they wanted without thinking of the ramifications of their words “what happened in the house stayed in the house” so we get to be voyeurs to horror stories and comedies never told . A time when Children did not speak back to their parents anyway they wanted ( white kid- “I hate you”) or else they would face the wrath of a leather strap or worse (black kids parent “ I brought into this world and I can take you out”). We are taken into the world of two young lovers and the “wolf pack” where their innocence battles and struggles to breathe and it (the innocence) is seemingly being stripped away from them painfully by dogma societal fear  and  circumstance .


 He (Ta) is African and he has just lost his father to liver cirrhosis the year is 89, not yet angry but confused as to what the next move is, what the future holds and how to be man for his family he himself is try to learn how to be a boy, we journey with listening to his inner thought that for most of time are hidden behind a timid smile as he struggles on the path to masculinity and identity, coupled with the natural challenges of going through puberty without a father to guide and the complexities that arise from his home environment as his mother attempts to find the right way to raise them alone as well as the complex process of integration going on at his school and the society…

Detta is white Zimbabwean and she has also lost her mother to breast cancer, her guide to her femininity she faces the same challenges as he does accept that after her mothers death her father has become emotionally vacant and avoids her not because he doesn’t love her,  it’s just everything about her reminds him of her ( his wife and love) and he would rather not engage her ( the fear of being vulnerable and breaking down to her  vs the foolish lies indoctrinated about masculinity over a lifetime) until he figures it out in the process he goes into his mental man cave and gets stuck , by the time he comes out will it be to late , and so our epic heros  these two, they are drawn to each other’s pain  ( because pain doesn’t see skin colour) brokenness seemingly unaware of each other’s race accept when reminded by “they” and assure “they exist” and come in many shapes and forms even family, very aware of … I am a boy and you’re a girl …  I feel the same pain and anger you feel … acceptance not understand  and you make me feel safe .


 At only 12 years old they trying to deal with not only puberty and battle for both femininity and masculinity and as change happens in the body mind and emotions, but the issue of identity created by the new independent Zimbabwe and people constantly imposing their values fears and opinions on them and “love” relationship, the deeper struggle is with their parents “do as I say not as I do” attitudes, we watch the evolve and morph . They hold onto each for dear life “strange fruit ” with hands the world cannot see for if it could it would chop them off to retain the status quo, as they wade through life and the fog of change, as they try and figure out what traditions to hold onto leave and what new things to embrace and create ,  while dealing with the fear of the walk into unknown of adulthood and away from family and nation. Old souled children with the  knowledge of adults as hard times make you mature faster than most people sometimes even more than adults,  armed with only one knowledge that time never moves backward , I loves u’s are not saved for the grave and change is the only constant that doesn’t change.  They face 3 realities how they see the world through their eyes, how other people in world see life and their perspective of things and what really going on minus the bull shit in between. Along the journey they are joined by the “wolf pack” a brotherhood of friends who confide in each right or wrong to retain their sanity from their home lives, a family away family bonds forged in hell almost impossible to break.

Funny a times painfully earnest the light humours side of dark realties (the funny thing about Ubantu or Africans no matter how dark ever it is we face we find a way to smile and laugh through it all a resilient strong proud people). The Strange fruit is simply the bi products of the situations they are forced to adapt and evolve around as infants and how it affects their adult lives in the latter years they are the strange fruit... when you plant Good seed in strange soil there can only be one out come and yet the world finds it strange that many of us are strange  fruit .


Sunday, June 24, 2018

The things i think but don't say pt3 Confession 31




Souls so kin,  skin so soft I don't know or at least I can confess I don't know where she starts and I begin, in world of Cloud walkerz we tick the box that sayz yes that’s a win, and there she stands in the shower  body naked soul naked  min d open trying to see godz mind like how did you make it , our values different but always aligned  she so equipped for all of life challenges a soul mate for life climb, as I soap her up the view yep...(lol) I  soak it up [that’s true], she supports my vision and  intrigued  and never jealous of her ambition actually it’s a turn because realise we are the same mission, Romance is not by chance it  is a minimum standard  living in own world we never had a clue how good we had it the good bad habit  wild because we rabbit when pillow talk starts its completely candid falling this thing and its wings out we need to grab it . 


 Unselfish  so it’s role reversal  as she soap me down, I only have one question where did she learn the  technique that’s making the cleansing complete I might sound redundant be it’s the silence that we speak, cold water steaming off hot body’s that’s the honest heat, never mind I feel like a canvas as her try to draw me  while she draw from me (lol naughty smile) tattoo the poetry on mind the moments we don't need to share with social media, thingz we won’t forget when we become old timerz the last memory I would lose is “this” if I got Alzheimer's, the gold for the soul minerz . Non misogynistic eye candy from Godz pantry  your a brand a new flavour to chocolate range , Oscar winner in movie and theatre stage we play on on , my min d feels like a rattled cage I as I towel you dry, but I want you still wet , I love the contradiction what would the people of this world know  about love with no  limits rules and restriction ,they look at us  like we are science fiction,  some how you figured the formula  of not leaving me wanting , real talk… beauty is in the eye of  the beholder so you’re the be gotten, if I time travelled to the future I would write back to starting with “ you will never be forgotten… [ sometimes i think your that mystery book that never ends, i get confused but i embrace it all which one do i want more the lover or the freind but you seem to have the right blend, i hope we never fall into the trap of the limit of ten, just to reget it latter like "i rememeber way back when"]



The things i think but don't say pt 2 Confessionz 30



So we Finally get home, and before  we get out the car our way of detoxing from the day (and the world)  and what is supposed to be that one kiss to say good bye to the world hello to home and prayer that’s not prayer for travelling mercies and getting home safely , turns back  into that 3 kiss game with last one paused just a little bit,  not that I am complaining  when shorty has mana (bread of heaven) type taste lips ... 
  Foolishly I watch her waddle into the house it gets me every time [Mr Godz when you made this woman did you use sugar … no to simple , honey … no to stero type … Molasses maybe…?  that rough raw sweetness with the head rush that you want to sink your teeth in , skin you want to breathe in could be in ?, when we are part u have me asking silly question like when she is away what’s lifes meaning is skin beaming… hey hey hey snap out it]… Lord if she only knew that power of her that waddle (laughing to my self) 
“ I will meet you up stairs and we can take a shower if you want ?” [ If I want that’s like asking a lion if it became a vegetarian , my favourite part of the day when I get to deconstruct the flower and see her through heavens lenses ], As I peel her clothes off like my Caribbean brethren treat a mango before they eat slow, I know she isn’t pregnant but somehow she has the same glow , just then I remember her mind always pregnant with ideas and her souls awlays birthing love , [ I love the way her frame might stand naked but her spirit and feminity is clothed in wholeness ]. Cloud control it  as I watch water run down shoulderz like melting glacier this is not time for prayer but I am grateful I get to soap this so focus , don’t start nothing you can’t finish  … to late I stuck on the neck kiss like a necklace 2 become one until we are shapeless



What i think but don't say ( but i should) - Confessionz 29



Pulling up to the curb after her works ended another day another  dollar she looks tired , it won't be like this forever....  [funny i think to my self as i watch her walk toward, even tired she holds so much life light and effortly oozes sexy dam i love that ass], she opens the door and jumps  into the car and after what was supposed to be one hello  kiss  that turned into three with the last one lingering for 10 ten seconds or a bit  more (true story lol), we smile at each like teen age lovers our way of talking with out words something Mr godz seemed to have given and us and only us [ and again i think to my self this is why i love her if love had a taste its definitely her lips and other parts of her lol]... So i drive off and as we head on the high way just to get stuck in traffic she take my  free hand in hers, strangely she makes a face i am not familar with but with time i would get used to  while she shakes her head and laughs at the same time (like i said true story),  She puts my hand on her thigh  and says "don't move it" [ yeah right thats like  putting steaks infront of wolves and saying don't eat lol but i will try , this is how you get in car accidents lol]  while i battle temptation and watch traffic she reaches into her bag  rumbles around in there  and comes out of it with coco butter (yes the stero type but i heals everything black skin) " i can see you also worked hard at work to,  but no man of mine can have ashy hands nobody is going to say i don't handle my business and take care of my man" as she massages the cream into my dry skin one hand at time with an apreciation for hard work they did and not judgement me and her have never being that couple that keeps up with the Jones , we minsiters to each other need first and if there anything left wants are optional  a middle class luxury , but i worked  for us and kept our flame burning . [ This thing she is doing and i am witnessing , is that real love that love the old folks used to talk about thats gives with out asking for reward that pleasant surprise in-to- me-see, this is why i love her], she continued to do this hand by hand  and yet i noticed not only did she do it with love and passsion from my humble prospective  there was a sceince to it as well ... she was tired i was tired and yet she gave from and inner part of her intimately ...[ i got me a winner , smart sexy comapssionate giving she's got that why factor  that element and "do" thats makes love just word in dictionary she becaomes it in the flesh and words fall short... don't mess this up with foolishness or selfishness you heard ] 
Her " why are you looking at me like that ?" Him (laughing sheepishly) " like what ?"
Her like that ... that  right there" Him "i don't know what you are talking about ? you mean like a bag of weed  and snoop dog" her ( rolling here eyes) " you got jokes .... no Cloud ! not that like i am the only woman in the world" " because you are .... "


Anomally ... Confessionz 28




Being different never felt so good, being misunderstood feels so right the heavy light, one flesh one bone a narcissistic world cannot fathom spiritual law the harder I love you the more I love my self, we love loud in silence the way black panthers hunt in stealth , the bank statement doesn’t represent our love bank  and not even close to net wealth , our smiles are flawed yet are real , our laughter comes from a raw place the lost magic of our and nobody elses ( and yes we are selfish about it's ours only) eye contact has god like powers because it slows down time and hand contact  and random kisses the foundation youth the forever young , the world of cloud where 1+1= 3(bound by mr Godz) divided  by 3  = “one”, This thing we share is like the wind you don’t see it , you feel it, while they take picture of it looking like voyeur for facebook the moments we own it , life’s like a blank book  and Mr god love poem about love we wrote it , if how the ancients made love was a language last night we definitely spoke it, and like the philospy stone  dream  alight  conduring gold Good morning I woke to it….. Different that’s why I love u the best way I know how properly,  again the world looks at us and says  “why those 2 are a strange weird  anomly”... When i laugh to my self how did i fall when i never  left the ground, excuse Mr time  after you have passed us  for so long how does this woman make my heart still  race  and pound, shh you see you heard that sound , she turns Queeness to Verbs from nouns and she not afraid to be still so i can from time to time fix her crown, i ove her through and through well i am learning and doing so i loved me to , i don't think twice  me and her are about a word just one that world doesn't use any more  sacrifice ....


The phone off type love ... Confession 27




Sacred … our time together is called the phone off, ride or die sawed off “is she crazy?” well ? sought of,  after work shoulder rubs coconut oil in the hands just to get her clothes off .
We fix it that love and bolt love no tricks versioned after netflix nor the quick fix, in a generation that’s throws away anything Brocken we invested to much “us” so we fix it .
Like the “Carters” we go ape shit, my smile is inspired my sanity got fired and my tongue confessed telling you “your beautiful in more than one way” tell here I never get tired…
What we have is primitive , I gain the world and kiss the universe the less that I take and the more that I give, I love you like a savage  we don’t do luke warm because when I look at you on your soul feel with you your anything but average , wide eye blind I walked into this marriage. They don’t “us” the 11 plus love because when they (the world)  look at each other they stop counting at 10, they love to talk it while we walk it the homie lover friend , resurrected  because for this us I would die and come back to fall in love with again, laughing in my head “mr Godz the prayz answered”, the sound of that last kiss  before we sleep my amen…


Thursday, June 21, 2018

To be your daily bread Confessionz 26


To be your daily bread Confessionz 25


Woman what’s wrong with you ? why are you eating the crumbs from world when you could sink your teeth into me, I promise to be your daily bread, can i have a moment straighten the crown  on your head " she mumbles "go ahaed" there is no need for that fear in your eye's i am not here to hurt you need to be scared.
“Does my ass look big in this?” “Hell yeah the way I like it i will tap it , if want i will gift wrap it”... Don’t make me come over there and nibble on your jiggly bits you redefine baby phat and like that like facebook boast be my guest i will be the host, if you wana lose weight we do it in the bedroom enough has being said…
The worlds full of fear and anxiety but I can be your safe place my chest and your head , and I will always have a poem to let you know you’re a queen and gods daughter when you feel a little scared
I laugh to myself as I remember innocence, random kisses locked eye’s and tongues that don’t lie, when we part anticipation of your turn, passion so hot my soul burned… I was thinking about falling in love but the you pushed me off the edge.