Return to the Mecca – Into me see -broken wings snippet 2018

Return to the Mecca – Into me see  -  Confessionz 

Cloud “She wants something I am not sure I can give her”

Gargoyle “which is?” taking the straw out of his mouth focusing on it as it where a rose

Cloud “Well she said she would like …

 (In her voice) “I want a man like the Bible says a man should be. I want a head of the household, a good man, a humble man, a wise man, a provider, of laughter for my  tears, eyes to open my  mind , a warrior for me and our family, I want a kind but strong man. I guess I want a man that I can respect... someone stronger than me, but softer than me, someone strong enough to tame me, but yielding enough to soften my edge he doesn’t have to be perfect  but can he make my sacrifice worth it. A man who can be a lion and lamb and I will be his lamb after Jesus and sacrifice my all, I will be his lioness and help him conquer all, we will be each others winds under the wings of angels to help us rise if any one of us should fall, a man who brings no reasoning, because it is what it is a storm …Storm”.

The gargoyle coming into the light 

“Umm I see  ... so what is the problem? .. … .. And you what do you want..?”.

 “Her… she is sufficient she my psalm 23 in the flesh no offence meant to god (looking to the sky) she is different, her eyes, her smile, constant but changing like the flow of waves along the sea of her cheekbone with each word she speaks, her aura to.. .. Her voice   ... she reflects life, light her hand fits perfectly in mine, she makes me laugh as if she was heavens clown just sent down to take away the hollow, take away the lacking, I know her but I don’t, discovering the bases of this warmth of this connection seems to be my purpose, her heart like mine wants to be set free”..

(Soul) Crying 2018

Writing for me is this  place where my soul can cry with some sense of dignity if at all thats possible

With the honesty the of a child to clean the soul, not like an adult pain covered sniffles for told for lies
A child cries hard and once to let  go once resilent soul , adults hold on die slow  and fake the strong..

To write or to  tear ... Words to painful for my ears to hear and tongue to speak for most part my own

When I was young , I never thought one could be scared to be happy, unpleasant  surprise ?

I look to the skyz for answerz  ... looking for Mr Godz but, I never looked with in where he resides blinded, tears binded the adult doesnt mind it the child shakes his head i am grown and thats what the  future hold i dont wana be reminded... the tear falls the child inside untired it..

The ink and page don’t need or ask questionz … they offer understanding or acceptance

Their conclusion is rather silent, home for the cynic time created and wide eyed forgotten

And I tend to agree with it , silence can be golden especailly when you look back watching time unfolding, listening to future ur future hope is that just heaven calling

The world stops at the sound of my scribbling and my universe begins again " it was written"

My sin doesn’t stop ... but for now I can’t see it , it was written so maybe the ink is the  blood

There is a lot of stuff inside of me that craves to get out and see the world peering  out my eye  slideing down my cheek to my chin but i wipe him away before he can fly ..but why?

It craves to be … but I warn it like a parent to child it’s not safe out there those right there dont care

I searched for freedom, I managed to keep everything in , accept 4 the liquor in the bottle that bottles empty (laughing) then it stops, the word stops , this world  stops , the pain stops, the happy stops

Because the pen stopped... the thoughts creativity  stops  but the world goes on my soulz washed

my soul is done crying and I live unafraid to be happy kind auntil the next time ...

Return to the Mecca Reflections 2 This part of me "They are forgotten ... forgotten words make me smile because of who they are"

Cloud - Standing in an empty field eye’s closed looking at the wind with his ears he watches (some of you will get it) he listens to stories of journey untold as  the ancient part of him  wakes  that which he defines as his inner king or better yet his Ancient, my infinite me …it talks

“I have bumped into this part of me again, which I felt was dormant or dead...This part of me seeks perfection and peace knowing I will never see nor achieve them in this world ... This part of me wants to rise to great heights knowing we could fall, because we have done so before ... I want to lay down and rest but it insists on getting up and trying again.... (Madness i tell you haha  ....madness). Although inside we are more than one ..... In this world the many of and inside me … this part of me makes me walk alone .... This part of me dates me in silence, the absence of people …yet the presence of Mr god.. ..Where my souls speaks to my mind and conferences with the body, and the mind is true to the heart, I am yet to decide whether I like it or hate it I am  what I am a storm with no form , But it is a part of me so hence most welcome  to reside ... unfortunately it hurts.. .to be alone , We sit in silence, and converse with no words We laugh with no breathe, and shine with a light not of our own ,this part of me  reminds me of words  the world has forgotten like, Honour ,courage ,selflessness ... umm (moment of thought) the list goes on ... the words they hang .... hang on suffocated by mental blindness pulling on thier kneck. They are forgotten ... forgotten words make me smile because of who they are , they have tenacity … i sense them with a surge of pain again because we are alone ... Deep in the soul, alive like my soul had its own soul ... to see them hanging lost in time... like strange fruit  in 1902  surrounded by the hatred of those who could never understand ... but they try to live on .

The shadow pawn that painted the crow black (few understand that’s all right with me)The storm that raged (laugh of madness) and they didn’t see a drop (walk with me know..

The softest place on earth for me to exist, the complexity of god because you are a rock.. In stagnant motion we walk on/ in un-cried tears , and time becomes our currency .. We play chess as we debate the purpose of tears and smiles. They seem to be a waste of time ( tears  that is)... but they tend to cleanse the souls over the years. The wars are personal ones ...victories loses, the wars that go on unnoticed in between my ears  ... Inspiration sits and ponders on my forehead contemplating the right moment… Fear waits for my soul to look away so it can creep closer to .... my heart. Courage faith and indecision locked in immortal combat ... stomps fears head back . My soul looks at its twin which would be my infinite ... ... communion. They laugh with no breath .. They cry with tears .. and they live with all life .. this part of me….Turns around to walk away ... strange actions because where ever you walk you know we will always be one

Gerald Munengami dedicated to getting to know myself

The art of love and war Confession 19

The craft of us .... No rules, is the wisdom of the soulfulz who are the love fools, hotter than the sun all the way to core, but we arctic  frosting cool,  eye contact , laughter , hand holding , random kiss and the things I can’t mention (naughty smile) so we got tools heart sniperz so we scope it out no doubt , I would like to call us sweet Karma  but that would the deepest lie because we love without the expectation of an equal opposite return , feel the slow burn we never on that tip “like I did for you know it’s your turn”, hungrier than ever  to taste your essence  can you feel the yearn worlds collide  she hold me down with gravity, changing focus in life my polarity,  changing my work ethicwork harder to spend more time with my  velocity, to at atmospheric entry (naughty smile you know what i mean) such feminine sexuality

Mr Godz can i have more time hold me in a moment and then press repeat, yeah that was me standing there starring, third eye vision saw laying on the floor  like Micheal jackson said woman you knock me off my feet ... We being on that vibe  where like fools we try and describe what can't be described, we understand brain function but don't truly understand how thoughts are created in the mind, we know they affect each other  but don't fully grasp the moon and the tide, we can kind of measure it but to be honest  even the smartest scientist can't really capture time thats a god thing, and so are we, divine in every essence but held back by our humanity, perfectly divided to be different Ubantu symmetry, its when i don't know that i do know because i am not in control  sea river dziva the only thing consistent the hear flow but hey... thats thou, i asked god for eternity  and in case he says lets fast slow , for that daily night time  after glow ... i am not leaving i wont go

Never lonley Confession 18

In a world that is selfish and narcissistic ... people are together and starved of love … Lonely,( love and ego cannot occupy the same space) you will never feel hungry for it … love that is , I hope in my simple quirky ways I have proven  to you I am your heavenz clown, if you let me I will be the pillow and the blanket for days when it get cloudy or rainy  we Callbo just code me. We are not about the image (taking her hand placing it on my heart) masters of our own reality there will be no P.O.W when you ask me to just "hold me" then after trying to separate the “us” is like removing salt from the dead  sea... I hate the feeling of hurt, one flesh one bone our home  your pain is mine we share it or I try and prevent it, pac wasn't playing when he said until the end of time, we old school  loving  I see ur beauty and  beauty in the beauty of the flaws Mr Godz design  redefine the meaning of love is blind poetic justice to just us captured by your skin linez. Its the simple  and little thingz we do that never make facebook insta or twitter, its laughter and your smile that make me  a man and a master, constantly cooking and baking how  many times has the fairy tale crumbled but here we are on a journey eyes set on the happily ever after. Its easy to talk each of has scarz on our feet but i can't think of anyone else i would rather talk (not take)  this walk with; I don't close my eyez or sleep on it like a minute in New York  I am all with it. They say i love you … i seen a lot of lip service , callused hearts because we living in it . Not everyday day is perfect looking back and my souls bank account is full woman you have being worth it, thats why i get up present in the moment, and i got to work on it .You’re not my sexing thing, trophy wife that’s for the vikings we on the love thing , i got the worse voice but i still try sing " loving you is easy because you beautiful ", i wasn't lying to you when i said next to Mr Godz your my everything  . We don't do manipulation we trying to build a forever nation the name I don’t call you in public is "deep thought" because you the centre of my daily contemplation's and soul meditation.  I guess in the jot of one line thank you for being in my life …love reciprocation and look forward to tomorrow with a smiley anticapation

Return to the Mecca - Self reflection1 sitting by the ocean

( Cloud walking on the beach) Inner thoughts voice 
"They say it takes everything  a man has to achieve greatness, but in my opinion  as one who seen the peaks of greatness and success at least in my profession ... the truest greatness would be to achieve self. I often ask my self how hard and what price was paid by Michael Jordan to become “Michael Jordan”... then i stop and mould it over in my mind how  much did it take  for “ Michael Jordan” to become Michael Jordan again. When the camera’s stop flashing... when the cheer fade and they stop calling your name out loud ... and they speak of you in past tense ... when your with your family , when you are with true friends then you are not “Michael Jordan” but you are “Michael Jordan”... in all of it was self achieved  was the god inside found . 

 It seem easier to become greater  than  great, than it to achieve true greatness a place  you have earned you own respect and no one else  counts accepts for god.

 But the task of moving from this place of greatness and giftedness back to ordinary seem a more intrepid journey , one that seems to harsh to sole of the mind  as the journey of life is walked , a blend of confidence mixed with humility .. a lot of letting going and holding on .. pruning for  growth so we know there is a hint pain , even if this pain is to help  the spirit of man, man  hesitates toward it … when the season have come full circle  and the flashing lights and cheers of crowds the praise of people have faded into the silence by what and how will we define self .. Is one still enough.. or do we begin  in the ways of man in reflection “ what is the meaning of life”. Michael Jordan  is one of the greatest athletes in the game of basketball.. But he was also a father and son.. A friend a man, these places where greatness of basketball have no has power  for only self can define .. Hence a story of seven begins.

A story of trip back from a place greater than greatness .. a return from  power to the ordinary.. for the true test of man is not adversity ( such as is achieving greatness which is to over come) but the true test of any man is when he  achieves power of any kind (ponder it over for a minute) … what does he do with it .(viva Mandela ) 

We change to stay the same Confession 17

We change to stay the same Confession 17

That’s right we change so some thingz stay the same crazy right  but real.

You see the Cloudness in me possess a wisdom that is not mine, I watch the world with two but understands it with third eye, to get to grey and old and think, “her beauty still has me tongue tied” licking my lips shaking my head at goodness memory lane trip, the eye ship, the years we survived and vibed , shot at my like an assassin and emptied out the clip of love lol.

We dance like  are the only ones around  in crowd  and even worse when we are the only ones around for it to remain the same we evolved and life to give to each other need before the want , from girl friend  to wife  to mother of my child to the last bird left with me in our nest  to keep some things the same  we learnt to change , we started with lips locked  faced the stormz and the dry places one thing remained the same our and heart locked, looking back at the sands of time the foot prints are explained when our world was rocked . When others got divorced  we dropped on bended knee and consulted the source  that’s why to day we still walking the course, a Porsche  will always be a Porsche its just that time takes it from the that “new thing” on to block  to a classic, looking backward how many times we have kissed likes its the first already  I am happy some things  change  to remain the same..

Confession16 You make it easy

You make it easy… (Funny she doesn’t know) without trying … Regal essence

To love you ... live for u …  sexy silly 4 u (sadness in the eyez) if I have 2 die for you.

You make it easy to slip the ring on your left frost it cold eternal like the arctic

Like that flower in the spring I do it over and over again I call it the flower heart pick

U make it easy do u hear that ( what ?) your heart sound  gangsta mixed with that up town beat

When I say Queen they think it just words until they see the real woman fully grown

You will always feel me even standing in the crowd, phone down ,me you the right here the right now

I might not alwayz be able to give you everything you desire physically  , the promise is that in the area of intimacy, acceptance not always understanding, laughter you will never experience heart and soul poverty, i  am just leasing truth be told your Mr Godz property , no trick  no gimmicks but we on that magically , explosive reactions  eye contact the catalyst  lock lips exchange of that chemically , late night holding and cushion cuddling the library that hold me down the rock and stone the for potion thats our philosphy making golden moments from what looks like the ordinary... Mr Godz what did i do so right that i get to sleep and wake with your art and hand craft next to me.. (you bae)   and contrary to Male foolish  she drives me the "Good crazy" and the truth is that she make s mylife better my grind harder and my thinker smarter, creativy more colourful and arter (i made it up) , loving me is hard work  worth it ... but hard work , but she makes it look easy

Confessionz15 Your artistry (su)

You catch me staring at you in the morning like the sunrise, Mr Godz artisty....

Saying my silent pray of gratitude like she crazy but she is one of the most beautiful part of me… (yes sir)

Intelligent sexy compassionate nectar sweetness  understanding  wise , strong and mighty… might  I say politely  despite history  you stayed strong and kept the elegance grace and essence of your femininity…

You make me laugh smile drive me crazy because of u and about u that phenomenal Ubantu and focused my rib not my property …and still talk to me properly truly Mr Godz artistry.

It was and wasn’t easy to ask you marry me different but somehow you mirror my souls me

You came whole as I did but somehow  complete when we become “we”…

The natural mystic in her eyes that panther tiger and lion her hearts philosophy…

I remember when I asked the angelz  “can she be part of me ?”  looking deep into your eyes next level astrology , I touched you heart once richness deeper than the Mali empire Economy …I kiss lips  and ask Mr Go again what happening to me..

Resurrection you have woken the love in me