Confessionz10 strange fruit

Pleasantly aroused like the sun does the day i rise ... those eye, " i love you " the truest lie ,  adore or

more, i  look at you (pause ... lick lips) i see the butterfly, the free soul in one i also see your eagle soar... (rolling my eyes in awe) that something about you i cant put my finger on... but the the very reason  i sing that

song , kissing you is like sucking honey raw off the comb touching you that eye contact tellz me we

 together until the funeral home , authentic as its gets what can we home grown...Strange  fruit of the

good kind the kind of flavor I can't get off my tongue (hehe) and out my mind, my handz get dirty

but stay clean ? how do yo get the diamond out the mine (who thought that) like when starz align...

now  and for ever  a simple please be mine until the end of time

Dziva - Sax (thankz brother)

Dziva

I came from the water of warmth and life
Floating in the unknown for a future not yet seen
I am the giver of life and the wash of death
I am water
Hurt and tears noticed but not shed covering the reality and the seen but unknown blackness
Of my race 
I am water 
My life and world depends on the moon and the stars
The rain cleanses but does not wash away color or skin
But i am still water 
Life giver 
Washing of sins not yet known
Babies not yet born i will
Wash them and heal them 
For i am water 
Strong and powerful 
Destroying cities and crops
But pleasure of soothing waves
And pleasant memories
I am water your life giver
And taker
I 
Am
Water

Confession 9 We on some non performance love

We grown into each other now…even more we in to “together now as in forever now” as I just went deaf and you were my last sound… something this world battles to understand because we on non-performance love, you love me the way I love you we love each other for no reason we just do and that’s true, and that leaves the outside world confused like detective with no clue it’s got Sean Paul like nah man you take the tight like glue.

Sad to say but really talk shorty, but now a days a lot of these women are pretty frames with little or hidden content, but when talk queen quality like you it was the content of inside the frame the old my soul “your stupid if you don’t give this woman your last name” in a world that feels like the winter of love you have fire and you not going enjoy the dance flame … that’s lame?

They don’t understand love unconditional, like theirs is as a reality TV show and air heads what have is fictional? Like a snow flake or finger print me baby girl we Mr Godz original, I describe her awe as imperial, the first thing I have on mind and lips is her like cereal, if you say that I don’t love her  wear black we are going to loves funeral, pure as it getz like talib  dropping a lyrical, what we have Is in Godz handz  I don’t need no evidence I feel you your like a blessing and a miracle , your soul your mind the booty Queen I am  feel you ….

10 teaser 

Strange  fruit of the good kind the kind of flavour I can’tt get off my tongue (hehe) and out mind, my handz get dirt but stay how do yo get the diamond out the mine (who thought that) like when starz align 

Confession 8 forgive me i lied

It was not intentional but I did it anyway … I take my responsibility as a man for my role in it, but the worldz to blame mostly or lack of it , you see (deep breathe confessionz of cloud walker), when I called you amazing, gorgeous, intellectual, special in a good away, one of kind, the one who blindz me to other women aura ... it was all liez, wait … but before you get mad or feel anything about it let me explain to you what happened ... you see (deep breathe)  the truth is that your more than pretty words to me, at least ... but this world  only had those words to give me to offer you at one point , and don't get to mad at the world either … I mean the heavenz and Angelz struggle to explain  the level of awesomeness and artistry Mr Godz was trying to explain and express we he made you that you might not see ..? me and you we journeyed to next level now… no secretz… trust… full disclosure, so yes I confess I lied  to you, I use words but wordz can't explain to “u” what you are to me , that’s why often you catch me smiling at you in silence with the stupid smile that says I love in no uncertain way "boy .. What are you looking at" Cloud "My world and part of my ministry"  u smile  back at me in no uncertain way Cloud “there it is.” My sweet pardon for the liez systemically I draw into your eyes… or is it the ass (dodge the plate) definitely the eyez.

In this crazy world we live in your smile makes it all worthwhile, living I mean and facing the times, words slip off my tongue the way my hands slip over your skin, parting your thighs is like knocking on heavenz door "can I come in” , your beauty sexual ministerz and educates my soul intellectual, you shinez like the sun and moonz in sky at the same time   beautiful thing but unnatural, random kisses cuddles  and compliments flow on the mutual, even though we do it all the time  its special every time it’s our natural but nothing casual, "I love you arguments" our parting ritual, ordained and designed  by Mr Godz but every moment day kiss is conceptual , and the second kiss back instinctual , starring at each other for no reason  a silent "thank you Mr godz" contractual, almost in  a dream like state  who knew that this kind of happiness love respect intimacy and affection could be this perpetual , I write it on skin with my finger that my concept of contexaul, you stamped your heart on my heart irreplaceable… un removable…our souls have a conversation that goes “even if your body died today I will never ever for ever ever let you go”… one thing that I di say that’s not a lie “woman your phenomanl

 .

Confession7 First and last

It’s funny to me that you will be the last one and I love you in deeper wayz  than first one who broke it, my heart that is not only unapologetically, but unquenchably yeah you can call me thirsty … so you get best and (naughty laugh) the worst me, we do the math true definition of better half most of time we laugh.

Yeah we get to glitz n d glamour but what I enjoy is light slow burn we enjoy the amber, you  raise up the bar but Mr godz and parents set standard , I am just here to live  it at all speeds not need for hazards, when I knox the sox it’s like Tom hanks said you never know what you inbox, I always go hard like grew up in the Bronx, original handmade woven like Persian rugs  criminally hold each other like were block and both thugs, head shotz and heart stopz kisses exchanged like slugz.

confession 6 i cheated on you with your...

Yes I confess I cheated on you once, it happened while I stood behind you in a mirror and that woman in the mirror is the only other woman as beautiful as you, I wanted her as much as I desire you.

Soul surprising, eye tantalizing, mind  mesmerising, you have more than my cloudz rising, when I thought love was forgotten conclusion Mr godz perfect timing and then the part of you which I am surprisingly attracted to the insane driving, always surprise me with the things we are surviving.

How often do you find a woman who is the branch the leaves the rootz and trunk, rhythm and blues soul and funk, you got me open like what do you need what you want, the perfect flower even the leaves that slant

Every day I wonder what’s behind those eyes the soul the door, the reason I go scorch policy if I go to war, apple of my by I eat all the way to the core  and I watch your belly swell I wonder shelved in your store, Mami I will say it in every language today I say Mi Amor

panther love - Sax

panther love

THE panther 

she flows 

through the dark 

her coat floats 

so black 

she doesn't need to boast 

ink set fact 

blinded by movement 

many miss the MEANINGS 

also her existence 

until her irretactable claws sink in 

confessions 5 it gets More beautiful

Making love to you is a butterfly coming out the cacoon over and over again, every time I go in (lol) I come out different , just a little more beautiful … a little more excitedly grateful fulfilled and because you  reflect me  a little “ eye filled like life’s skilled or was tongue just skilledd doesnt matter it was real(who said that lol)” my tongue wants to say something but lungz are stifled . We on some Queen sheeba and Solomon  not some Samson and Delilah, it will be a cold day in hell when I look out into the world and say I don’t desire  50 years plus I lick my lips at you with that fire . Sometime kissing you is like genius thoughts caught on paper, the world don’t understand what was written then (our love) only the genius the paper and the pen and we do it all over again

and then ...

(Sound of scribbling)

Dear modern man you might see me as an anomaly, I would rather have her around the attractions not because her ass is round (but it is see it from the front), lip licking, eye contact anticipated laughter, deep cuddles for days that gets me aroused , so I guess I don’t fit into your little boys club we eagles that play equals no ego’s that games for your and the proud.

She is my flynes that’s why I call her maverick, and the moment she close and leaves our house I feel home sick, no tricks  no need for the Netflix just that old school forever until grow old magic. She doesn’t need but it but if she wants it  I tell her my lips are all of kinds  shades if you want lip stick, she is heart stopper i am a back breaker, she is a house maker  i am her soul taker, you couldn't put a price on it but we both stack that paper 

Inked thoughts- Sax

My inked thought's

Are 7 seas deep

In acknowledgement

When I wave

To acknowledgement

Of your knowledge

The tide is way to steep

Pardon my knowledge

My mind is constantly overloaded

Inking these thoughts

Is like taking a chaser

That's how I get my mind sorted

Constantly mistaken 

For lyrically hoarding

Y'all just missing facts

Inbetween heart beats

Snares and snyths

That's where my mind boarding 

These kids pop

Knife to neck

They are the new danger

Been an intellectual

Makes you niche

Fucken dangerous stranger

Return to the Mecca series 2 ...The fairy tale crumbled ... Death of Ta and ressurection "Cloud"

" not all tradgey is tragic"

The fairy tale did crumble slowly and painfully… The death of Tapfuma the birth of the Cloud and the Ether, when I left Zimbabwe for Australia to attend university I was far from innocent but still full of hopes dreams and aspirations as most young people are. I had being warned of what lay ahead and knew it would be hard but even I was not ready for the demon that is racism ironic considering I grow up right next to and even visited  apartheid South Africa. The culture shock was real coming  from a people who actually had their own culture and a history that spanned eons (we existed before colonies) into another culture which seem young and confused. The shift from a community based culture which might have had its problems like any honest society but we were family oriented to the individualism of the west, shock was understatement silence and observation I felt like an alien, where I came from we respected our elder but in this place every second word that seemed to come out of people mouths including the children was "fuck shit asshole and cunt" . As I said I was not ready for it, it’s one thing to watch marathon on TV its completely different thing to run one it is the exact same thing with racism growing up in Africa I am the majority, no Caucasian in their right mind would call me  nigger and expect to leave in one piece  they might think it but not say and that’s fine with me, we had seen on tv and films and newspapers but I had never directly being afflicted by it until I landed in that land and what a rude awaking it was, my deepest regret was my approach to Australia and New Zealand in that I believed there was going to be genuine, Equality instead approaching situation and problems from the prospective of a second rate citizen . The question I asked myself a week after my arrival in Australia is the same question I still ask my self today in New Zealand as we deal with white supremacy and privilege “whats wrong with these people?"  And is there any real hope of change ? what is it that fills them with fear anxiety hate and anger is it genetic or just plain simple ignorance and guilt?”. The fairy-tale crumbled both fast and painfully slow… American movies make you imagine university as this wild adventure with new experiences good and bad, wild parties stressful nights before exams, blissful romances, one night stands (sound of glass shattering and breaks screeching) just to walk into a mine field of their hate… emotional spiritual mental and unfortunately physical war fare, I have the scars to prove it…but I survived others didn’t make it (suicides rest in peace kings). As I say the racist in no different from a rapist and that’s the truth what those evil people do to someone’s body and dignity you do to our souls and you know it.

After a year  in the west again I was tired,  women let me assure you a mans tired is different from yours not to down grade your tired  but ours … its dangerous that how we die and we do it silence the older the worse… I remember lying on my floor in the foetal position, thinking of Mandela on a cold cell floor... Thinking of Biko’s lifeless body on a cold concrete floor alone thinking… not yet dead can’t move just thinking dying  still dreaming. Too proud to cry and take my soul to the laundry mat tears crept down my cheeks anyway, questions deep questions in mind from child hood… why do our parents  have to give us "the talk" at a certain age and would i  have to give my child the talk? Nausea cramps and knots in my stomach, my stomach churned so badly if I had drank milk I would of shat out butter the next day (African humour to intense). I swear I tried to pray but nothing would come out, lord knows I was going through it all I could manage was a hum I assume that’s where the blues come from.

The temptation was to call my mother… (Laughing gently) African mothers our strong place, my book of knowledge , keeper of wisdom my second spine, a confused and foolish blend of pride and wisdom would not let me … the reasoning was that she had suffered enough  in this lifetime from a place of love for us, tears from child hood years I heard her cry behind closed doors so many nights I did not want to be burden . 

Questions so many questions  the worst part was that the questions did not start  yesterday or when I arrived on the shores they stemmed from deep in my child until to now, as close to being broken with being broken right on the cusp, asking myself if things have really changed why is it we still have to work twice as hard for normal, 10 times as hard for good and 100 times for excellent and almost dam near give our life for phenomenal at the expense of family…(angry yes and I dam angry). The cold finger of reality touch my soul  and the my idea’s of equality spit in my face and laugh “ change haha change no! .... mututation yes a transformed  system never change just more civil if thats a word you can associate  it them ”, I used to think the shackle around my wrist and neck I saw in the dream world , sorry nightmare stayed they have shifted slowly while we were sleeping into reality around our minds. Sitting on fathers lap asking questions “ I don’t hate them but they hate me , I don’t fear them but they fear me I never stole from them but they stole from us  why?” Mr Gods ask these people for me “what’s wrong with them ?”  and when he spoke to them it echoed because he spoke to empty heads who only new how to change stories to fit lies to exsonorate  guilt. The knife of racism pushed mm by mm pushed into my heart, tears crept from eyes as they marched down my cheek so too did life from soul. “Ancestors  where are you !?” Quiet … silence … alone and forsaken accept for the distinct wails of African mothers  haunting caught in time from when they arrived on our shores to now, for fathers husbands  son and the unborn killed in stone wombs, I was almost provoked  not to fight this death thing... when I heard her shrill “what have you done to my baby … bring back my baby!” Moma  her eyes please don’t cry ? a change in past mm's to cm’s  Mr God I know you hear me while mama asleep comfort her  and tell her “ I done tried... mama”.

Nobody knows you better than you and that is the worst person on earth to wage war with, to win you must loose and only the scorch earth policy will do we leave no enemy behind nothing… I have a beef with that part of me that makes me African Ubantu  because it causes us to forgive certain people to fast  accept certain bullshit… but they forget Ubantu demands  me to forgive you only if you tell the truth in sincerity, you have clearly shown you cannot tell the truth to yourself so why would I believe you could tell the truth to me which brings us to impass so until time heals these wounds and you get some serious therapy forgiveness is a far gone conclusion. The knife of racism fast approached the centre of my heart the home of the hope and the connector to the dream world , like Dr king I to had a dream not of freedom equality I thought our parents had already paid that price another lie, my dreams was simple and boring but it means the world to me, "to be like my father the best husband and father I can be and maybe change my community", I feel the pain slowly cut away at the dream rootz, I am ready …I can tell you from experience deaths touch is not cold often for those who live with integrity it is welcome, I knew it was time because the ancestors  surrounded  me  and I didn’t feel cold anymore, from me there was no resistance, I smile among my ancestor a most welcome face “Father”, I got up off the floor I am not sure where I was but I was not in my room any more… I am don’t know if death hurts or not but I was ready as the knife moved, then  it happened  tugging on my pants with a huge smile light brown eye’s with her tiny hands up to me … thinking  to my self-death looks cute so I picked her …waiting for the moment of truth, she said something I didn’t hear so she wrapped her little hands  around my neck “daddy please wake up and fight for me... please?”.

Anew level of numbness and a new mind of understanding of what pain felt like, if racism had knife past half way through my heart hope just put a shot gun to the back of my head  and said "you better fight" … Oh Dear something was wrong I could feel something just one emotion rage … not anger not hatred  not animosity pure un-adulterated virgin rage …I squeezed my baby like sun holds heat and the northpole the cold  the for ever hug. They would dare steal this from me … they would steal her future, her safety  her innocence  and make her work twice as hard for normal …rage..! they would make her ask one day "daddy why do they hate us” with tears in her eyes, they would let her live in poverty to the point she would only find value in her ass and whats between her thighs and not between ears  and hidden in the left side of her chest  Rage, I squeeze her hard enough not to hurt but like I would never let her go ever ever ever… Death finally whispers in my ear “give me one second I know” I say . I put her down smile kiss her forehead “ go to grand dad ." Die ? yes i am going to die  to my self  and for her .... yes you i smile and wave as i head home ... when i die to win this war i have only two option to come back sub human or more than an average man , normal just wont do.... My fairy tale crumbled  that's true ... to my unborn i will die  a million times and comeback before i let them near you.. hurt you or make yor fairytale crumble 

Blunted blade warlordz - Sax

State of mind always been bushido

step to me

ain't no battle

1 stroke

1 kill

am lightning in a bottle

liquid swords

Dare to battle?

my poetry is as sharp as my sword

hear the battle cry?

never heard of my challenger's

cause my mind's a killer

amidst the violence

I live in silence

to those that never been on the battlefield

am a mythical legend

still undefeated

tales to straiten children

so they can make their way to the heavens

Fruit strange - Sax

Things wild worldwide

Take a Breathe

Take life in stride

Get slapped

Get up

That's how you maintain pride!

Fuck flattery

Be wise with word's!

Cause that's first step to miss-steps!

I learnt on Saturday,

In this world...

Time don't reset

Family Affair …The hive the home… Teaser

Family Affair …The hive … Snippet

“it was perfect  that you didn’t have to be perfect to be loved nurtured adored desired and appreciated, and  lord have mercy the laughter so much of it that the thought of it makes my lungs hurt and my eyes water up in a good way.”

Cece- Sometimes your soul mate is not always your lover, I am lucky that he is… He is my “somebody” who answers the question we all secretly ask when we dare to love unapologetically,  he… Cloud does it sometimes with no words just a smile and he always has the right answer … yes. Whether it’s parents and children, lover to lover, friends, family, dam it even pets. The question is simply complex, are you ready to ask yourself…?

“If you knew the real me … me, not the ambassador I send out into the world , no mask no makeup (snitching ladies you would be surprised how many men wear emotional make up), the raw me no cover up stories that start with “but” , “you don’t understand” and “let me explain”  and blaming circumstances,  the naked soul me no fig leaves that person… would you still love me,  respect me, want me , desire me… and with a deep childlike honesty in his eyes and baring his soul in his eyes and voice , he shrugged his shoulders and said “yes and only you Northern star who else would I want, the real questionz would you want me ? ”. For a moment we transcended to ether “above the cloudz”  (gentle laugh)…to naked souls starring at each unashamed unapologetic touching each other’s scarz acceptance not understanding “so this is what real love feels like hah ?” I asked “I guess so … let’s find out” so here we are, and we returned to reality.

Cloud … super enough to stand behind fearlessly, human enough to touch and be touched. Someone so comfortable in their own skin you felt the same way, the good the bad the quirky the flaws the intangible (that… I can’t put quite put my finger on it but I want it about you, it’s different and I like it). That take me as I am or the doors to left type honesty, so infectious it makes you the same way when it’s just the two of you, it was perfect that you didn’t have to be perfect to be loved nurtured adored desired, lord have mercy the laughter so much of it that the thought of it makes my lungs hurt, he would build the house I would make it a home we would make it a kingdom and we named it the Hive.

Confession of a Cloud 4 -since i seent U

From day one... actually from when I first saw you I said that’s my future wife (she reminds how real Mr Godz is)

Mr Godz I understand that every breathe you give me is a gift, so please don't take any offense with me , but for her I would give my whole life... all of it, and not think twice... i know she is priceless but i will try and pay what can of the price?

No anistetic I would punch into my own chest and rip my heart out and give to her to breathe with a smile i would die just let me watch her from other side for a love like this  the surgery with no knife ...

thats what clouds do for northers starz when it feelz like (wordless)

You Mr Godz gave me vision like Osiris so how did I get blinded by a lioness was the black panther skin of the movement of tigress

Was it her aura like Phenomanal  Maya type Highness? The soft silk like chocolate smelling skin to the touch that had me silent ? no inner conflict like "we aint even fighting it"

If beauty and essence demanding respect was a single word, I am watching her move...she  writing it.

The way she lives in that body (drool lol) those contours the definition of perfect flaws

And when we kiss I press repeat, and when we cuddle all night in the morning I press pause

(Naughty laugh) As for the gem in between your legs I want to be a citizen and live there forget these tours (lol)

Could I fall in love with you with your permission over and over and over again as many times as wave s touch the shore?

Dam it Queen I love you so much I ignore the fact that you snore (dodging a plate )

After 10 years that’s what you do to me, I still look at you like at that start remember that first month

And when I munch on my cookie, it’s like I am eating my first lunch ... Delicious

Nothing about us is fictitious, no day with us is repetitious, I got nail marks in back and she wasn't being vicious

Like the dawn the first moment we met the first light (returning to the moment) "Mr Godz I just saw my future wife"

Converstaion with self 2 - write teaser

I write to let them know I love them in silence they don’t really need to know I love                                                                                                                                                                                                 them but I just do….?.. Pure and true... love has a voice is much greater than mine... and it is not confused with carnal rubbish the times have brain washed us with... it surpasses the flesh and touches the soul if you remember what a soul is? 

(My other reply)Yes … we do... so in writing love allows me to speak with no words... to many it is corny in this day...to me its reality...  and the cause of my solitude... as I ask god was I born in the wrong time knowing he makes no mistakes (a deep breath)

I write because all humans have a part of them, which cannot be accepted by anybody else accept the designer... the “just is” the uniqueness, but never the less the most intricate part of the star that shines within which often the world teaches us to hide, i will show you mine in the hope you accept yours, and judging from the look on some people’s faces they still don’t get it...

Sometimes actually often I write because my soul is torn ,my heart has grown calluses from a hard life lived  and my wings are Brocken, and lords knows I cried until my cheeks ran dry or I was dehydrated (loll).. dreaming about the times when I used to fly ...now look at me  … drowning in a bottle , believing the world to be hostile , lord you know I tried .. Faith or no faith ... I am tired of this falling thing... Because I feel like am dying ... so I live to write to live... (The madness)

I write because god planted something in my wrist connected to my soul my mind and a thought that demands a voice... … Thought breathes through expression... so I write to express my design... lest i be smothered

I write because I am insane most of the time ….. You just see the sane... (Mum?) and this perception of me is for your comfort zone, I am here to bear notice your comfort is dead (loll)  simply because I to need find mine and unless I walk the waters of the ..Ink and paper I will be lost in your perception, that brings us across  the puzzle  of the maze of my mind  where pandemonium  and sensibility  are playing Russia roulette click ..... Bang oppose   . Yes I am insane?