Monday, February 22, 2016

38 When i am dead and i am gone- part 1

Hypothetically… hypothetical –

From the other side while she dreams I ask god to let me go back and whisper in her ear
now that I am gone -part 1…

She wipes the last tear from her eyes and lays down to sleep
“Hey Ma, I know every day while I was with you I let you know you were my rib, the soul that I touched to be complete, the blue… the flame … the heat… the gifted one I gave my last name, I called you by your true name a Queen never anything mean accept silly when were being silly, accept for that name we use in the bedroom lol… um girl you got some freak in you lol don’t get me wrong I like it … and now that I am dead gone for kids I need you to be strong and hold on and for them to keep going.

I need you to remind our seeds as they get older how when they were first born, I would get back from work or tour and the first thing I would do would be to pick them up and press play and repeat and would hug each other in a love circle and dance to that one song all night long until they feel asleep… tell them how I would take us all down by the river side and I would play the guitar and you two would sing my beautiful rock stars, twinkle twinkle from where I are now that I am gone ...

 I need you to remind our seeds how when each and every one of them was born and the nurse was handing them to me… I would act like I was receiving a Grammy, Emmy, Oscar and Stella all in one night, while I gave my dramatic speech about how we did this and the hard work we did, when you carried them for 9 months and looked like you were dying in labor pain, Yes we did this don’t get mad at me talk to god about our roles... good team effort though… lol… okay so even from this side my humours still a bit wrong. Tell them how I would chase you around the kitchen, the master of random kissing, there daddy was laughter soldier who always played his position, that you trusted me with your heart in my palms because I was always uplifting  Now that I am gone…

I need you to remind the kids how while I was tour, I got drunk with uncle Mike and missed you guys so bad I had the whole family tattooed on my right arm, called her at midnight asked to put the phone by your ear and repeated the 23 psalm, the right arm which is my strong arm its says a lot about what you all mean to me, how every night after they fell asleep I would open my bible and over them read at least one psalm

Remind our young king how I taught him how to fight and throw them 2’s after he came home beat up by a bully, and then I told him the next day not come back home unless he won the next fight, yeah I was that dad hiding in trees and bushes just in case the bully needed to be put in place, and when he won that fight I whispered to breeze “we breed the…  that's how get it on son” … and I carried him home on my shoulders and explained that I would always be there, so now that gone remind him in life he will have to fight on and on and on now that he carries the baton. Now that I am gone

I hope you say I wasn’t perfect but I was a good man, never stingy with love, hugs random kisses wisdom and gentleness for the soul, that look when yall get heated, I pray that I taught you to value simple things and bad my dad jokes that go on and on and on... Now that I gone
Remember how when we bought the new house, we blessed every room ether style lol and some rooms twice, isn’t that how the first one was born lol.. Now that I gone I give you my permission to find another man I don’t want you to lonely, I am still the jealous type so if he gets struck by lighten a few times ... I am just saying I get my flambé on, I didn’t mean to leave you, I love you I am gone …

hypothetically



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